Let's Talk About Sex

Start Up

We know what you’re thinking: “We have to talk about what?” As we close out our Wayfinder series, we are going to talk about what is maybe the most awkward conversation to have about relationships—God’s design for sex. But please don’t dismiss this. If you allow it, this has the potential to be a powerful discussion. God designed sexual intimacy. But what God has designed, culture has distorted. As a result, instead of intimacy, many experience emptiness. Instead of joy, there is hurt; instead of trust, there’s often suspicion. In short, this issue is too important to “punt.” This discussion is broken into two parts—a safe mixed-group discussion (if your group has men and women in it) followed by separate men’s and women’s discussions to dive deeper.

• Since sex can be an awkward topic to talk about, we thought we’d start with something fun and light-hearted—an activity where we’ll talk about what things (like skydiving or horror movies) stress us out a lot or not at all. Let’s do an activity called “Comfort Zones.”
• In your opinion, how has the view of sex and sexuality changed in our culture over the course of your lifetime?
• In his message, Jeff said our culture today has a very casual view of sex. Would you agree with his description? In what ways does our culture treat it that way?

Discuss Together

Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 together.

• From what you see in this passage, what do you think the Corinthian culture was like? What questions were early Christians asking, and how do their questions relate to questions we may have today?
• Imagine two consenting adults ask Paul why it is a big deal if they choose to have sex before they make the marriage commitment. What do you think his response would be?
• Politicians, preachers, and protesters like to talk about the Biblical view of sex. But do we all mean the same thing? How would you describe God’s design for sex?
• How did you or will you explain to your kids why God designed sex to be part of a happy and healthy marriage? How did that go?
• Break up into separate groups of men and women (if you have a mixed group).

Men’s Discussion Questions:

• When did you first learn about sex? What was good or bad about your first lessons? What role did faith play in your perspective?
• If you are married, has sex been more of a burden or a blessing? Was it always this way? If not, what changed? How have you and your spouse sought to deal with the burdens in this area?
• Author Gary Thomas writes, “Sight will always matter to men—that’s how God wired us—but we can become mature in what we long to see.” How does our inclination towards “sight” pose a problem in our culture? Has pornography negatively impacted you? What have you learned about guarding your eyes?
• God isn’t here to shame us—He’s here to offer us grace and life to the fullest. Is there an area of shame around your past that you are struggling with? If you are comfortable, share with the group.
• How can you strive to make this area of life good and God-honoring? If you are married, how can you be more selfless and understanding with your wife?

Women’s Discussion Questions:

• When did you first learn about sex? What was good or bad about your first lessons? What role did faith play in your perspective?
• If you are married, has sex been more of a burden or a blessing? Was it always this way? If not, what changed? How have you and your spouse sought to deal with the burdens in this area?
• What struggles have you personally faced about sex? How has culture negatively impacted your view of yourself and your view of intimacy?
• God isn’t here to shame us—He’s here to offer us grace and life to the fullest. Is there an area of shame around your past that you are struggling with? If you are comfortable, share with the group.
• What one thing would you like men to know when it comes to this subject? If you could encourage the men in one thing when it comes to this area, what would you say? What would you want them to know?