Discussion Questions
Choose the questions for your group; no pressure to use all of them.
- What’s one thing in life you thought would be “easy” but turned out to be harder, funnier, or more serious than expected?
- Is there a time in your marriage or other close relationship when you felt the other person was “with you or for you” in a big or small way?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:7-8. Jeff said, “Marriage is not for everybody.” Why is it important for us to affirm both marriage and singleness as good and God-honoring callings?
- Our culture often views marriage as a contract that says, “If you do your part, I’ll stay.” Biblically, it’s a covenant that declares,“I’m staying to love you.” What difference would it make if all our close relationships were more covenant-minded than contract-minded?
- Read Philippians 2:3-4. God calls us to put others’ interests above our own. In your closest relationships (marriage, family, friendships), where is it hardest for you to live this out?
- Jeff said the opposite of love is not hate but self-focus. What practical habits can help us shift from self-focus to others-focus?
- Marriage (and close relationships) can be a mirror that reveals our character and helps us grow. Can you think of a time when a relationship revealed something in you that needed to change? How did God use that to help you grow?
- Jeff compared marriage struggles to resistance training at the gym that helps us grow “love muscles.” What kinds of “resistance” in relationships tempt us to give up instead of grow?
- How might God be inviting you to embrace resistance as training rather than a punishment from God?
- The ultimate goal of marriage is not just happiness, but to build a shared future that honors Jesus. What does it look like for a couple (or even close friends/roommates/family) to seek God’s kingdom together?
- Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Take turns praying together for God to help us love in this way.
Verse to meditate on and memorize this week:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
Put It Into Practice (Between Meetings)
- If married, write your spouse a short note, text, or prayer expressing one specific way you are thankful for them. Commit to one act of service this week that puts their needs ahead of yours. If you are single, do the same for a close friend, family member, or roommate; choose one act of covenant-style love that isn’t based on what you’ll get back.
- Each evening this week, ask yourself, “Did my closest relationships today see Jesus in the way I spoke, listened, or reacted?”
- Identify one point of tension in a key relationship right now. Instead of avoiding it, ask God, “How can this resistance grow my love muscles?”