The Difficult Beauty of Marriage

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This weekend, we launched our series on relationships by discussing marriage. Whether you are married or single, will ever get married or married again, understanding marriage helps us make every significant relationship in our life better. Marriage is designed by God to be the most intimate and rewarding of all human relationships—so much so that God uses marriage as a way to describe His love for us. Let’s continue the discussion about the beauty and difficulty of this important relationship.

• Lucy and Ricky (I Love Lucy). Homer and Marge (The Simpsons). Louise and George (The Jeffersons). Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky (Full House). Randall and Beth (This Is Us). There are lots of famous television marriages. How does pop culture present marriage? Is there a particular pop culture couple or family that reminds you of your parents’ relationship?
• Romantic love is often viewed as something that “completes” us (thanks Jerry Maguire). In what ways does that match up with your experience—where you found self-fulfillment through romance? In what ways is this not accurate?

Discuss Together

Read Genesis 2:18-24 and 1 John 4:10 together.

• How did God design marriage to be really good? What can we learn from these passages about God’s good design for this important relationship?
• How is marriage really hard? What is it about the nature of the love described in 1 John 4 and the nature of sin that makes this relationship difficult?
• Jeff said, “Marriage is a man and a woman partnered for life in this self-giving, promise-based relationship to fulfill God’s calling together and know Him more fully.” Does his definition match your definition? Why or why not?
• What can we learn about God’s love for us in how He designed marriage?
• If you are or have been married, how did your concept of love change before and after marriage? When did you become aware that love was not simply going to “gush” naturally but would have to be a daily choice?

In his book, Sacred Marriage, Author Gary Thomas shared a story about his frustration over his wife’s inability to refill the ice cube tray. He came to realize his angst really revealed his own selfishness, saying, “Was I really that selfish that I was willing to let seven seconds’ worth of inconvenience become a serious issue in my marriage? Was my capacity to show charity really that limited? Indeed it was.”

• Why is it so easy to let simple things drive us up the wall in our marriages and relationships? Do you have an example you would be willing to share?
• Marriage is a great revealer of where we actually are and how far we have to go. In what specific ways do you think God is using your marriage to make you holier?
• Is there anything going on you want to share with the group, ask for wisdom, or get help with? How alive is the “dream” of marriage for you in your current situation?