DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
"Self-Control"
Choose the questions for your group; no pressure to use all of them.
Start Off
- This week’s fruit of the Spirit is self-control. What is something that regularly tests your self-control (like food, phone, traffic, spending, patience, etc.)?
Reflect on God's Word
- Read Romans 7:14-25. When it comes to self-control, which part of Paul’s struggle in Romans 7 stands out to you most? (“I want to do what is right, but I can’t,” “I do what I hate,” or “Who will free me from this?”)
- Read Romans 8:1-15. What words or phrases stand out to you most in this passage?
- What does Paul say the Holy Spirit does in the life of a Jesus follower?
- How would you explain the difference between living according to the flesh and living according to the Spirit?
Go Deeper
- Rey said, “I can’t. He can. I’ll let Him.” Which of those three statements is hardest for you to believe or live out?
- Rey talked about training for self-control using spiritual disciplines such as connecting with others (such as in small groups), practicing pausing, and surrendering to God. Which of these spiritual practices do you find most helpful for self-control?
- Why is community important for growth and self-control?
- What benefit(s) do you see in practicing self-control through pausing?
- Why is surrender to God important? What is one area you need to surrender more fully to God right now?
Pray
- Pray for one another specifically in areas where self-control is difficult. Ask God to grow the fruit of the Spirit through the power of the Holy Spirit rather than through self-effort alone.
- You can also close by praying this prayer together: “God of the FRUIT of the spirit, by the power of the Holy Spirit, fill us with your FRUIT, so that it will overflow out of us, each day and every way, in the week ahead. We can’t. You can. We surrender. Amen.
VERSE TO MEDITATE ON AND MEMORIZE THIS WEEK
“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6b, NIV)
PUT IT INTO PRACTICE (BETWEEN MEETINGS)
Day 1 – Identify the Struggle
- Read Romans 7:15. Spend 10 minutes honestly reflecting on an area where you regularly lose self-control. Write down what triggers it, how it affects others, and what you wish was different. Pray: “God, help me honestly recognize where I need your help.”
Day 2 – Remember the Gospel
- Read Romans 7:25. Whenever you feel frustrated with yourself today, pause and repeat: “I can’t. He can. I’ll let Him.” Pray: “Jesus, remind me that transformation comes from you, not my own strength.”
Day 3 – Practice Surrender
- Read Romans 8:14. Before reacting in stressful moments today, pause for five seconds and pray: “Holy Spirit, lead me.” Notice how slowing down changes your response. Pray: “God, teach me to follow Your Spirit instead of my impulses.”
Day 4 – Train for Growth
- Read 1 Corinthians 9:25. Choose one spiritual discipline to practice today: gratitude journaling, silence, prayer walk, Scripture reading, fasting from social media, encouraging someone, etc. Remember that training prepares you for the moment self-control is needed. Pray: “Lord, help me create space for you to grow fruit in my life.”
Day 5 – Don’t Grow Alone
- Read Galatians 5:22-23. Reach out to one trusted person and share one area where you want to grow in self-control. Ask for prayer, encouragement, and accountability. Pray: “God, surround me with people who help me grow closer to you.”