From Conflict to Intimacy Group Guide

August 2024

  • Happy Labor Day! Share with the group: what is your current job? What was your first job?
  • Let’s create some “conflict” by taking a vote – which is better:
    • Dogs or cats?
    • Beach or mountains?
    • College or pro football?
    • Playing board games or watching a movie?
    • Camping or hotel?
  • The relational skill from last week was to practice seeing someone and listening to them. Did anyone get a chance to do that, and if so, how did it go?
  • Thinking about this past year, have you had a conflict with someone, whether at work or with a family member, friend, or neighbor? Did it get resolved, and if so, how?
  • Ryan talked about some negative ways to handle conflict: avoidance, denial, accommodation, escalation, and withdrawal. Which of these do you tend to do, and why?
  • Read Proverbs 20:3. Have you experienced a conflict or quarrel that, after looking back, you thought it could have been avoided (or as Ryan said, was not a hill worth dying for)?
  • Read Matthew 5:9 and Romans 12:18. In the midst of a conflict, what would it look like if you decided to pursue peace?
  • Read Matthew 18:15-17. If someone sins against you, what does this passage say about the stages of handling that conflict?
  • Ryan concluded that “One of the best ways we can get better at conflict is by getting better at being willing to get another perspective.” How can that apply to a current conflict that you are going through? Whose perspective do you need to gather?
  • Could you use prayer for a current/ongoing conflict? Take some time to share prayer requests and pray for one another. Consider going around the group and praying for the person seated on your right.

Put It into Practice Throughout the Week

  • In this series, we have the opportunity to focus on the spiritual practice of community, and for a more in-depth guide to improve the way we handle conflict, read this article.
  • Consider applying those steps to a current conflict, and at your next group meeting, share how it went.

Verse to mediate on this week:

  • Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. (Matthew 5:9)