Surviving the Holidays: Strategies for Maintaining Sobriety
The holiday season can be a whirlwind. Between travel, social gatherings, shopping, and seasonal stress, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. For those navigating sobriety—or supporting someone who is—it can feel like an even greater challenge. The good news: it is possible to enjoy the holidays while staying on track. Below, we’ll dive into some practical strategies to help you maintain your sobriety during this time. These tips aren’t just about surviving the holidays—they’re about enjoying them in healthy ways.
Step 1: Cultivate Insight and Awareness
One of the most important things you can do is to cultivate insight and awareness, because even small, subtle changes to our routine can feel really big. Holiday travel, shopping, family gatherings, and other social commitments can all increase our stress this time of year. And stress, anxiety, isolation, or even depression can become triggers that lead to unhealthy ways of coping.
A helpful acronym to keep in mind is HALT, which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. When you’re in any of these states—or a combination of them—you may be more susceptible to cravings or slipping back into old habits. So, taking a moment to check in with yourself during moments of stress can help you spot potential triggers early.
Step 2: Plan Ahead
Once you’re aware of the potential challenges, the next step is to make a solid plan. But first, for planning to be effective, you need to understand prevention. Prevention is all about building up a "wide margin" for life. Imagine your sobriety as a line on the ground. You want to build your life so that you’re far away from that line; that way, if the stress of the holidays (or life in general) hits, it won’t push you over that line. This means setting yourself up for success through a lifestyle of optimal health instead of high risk, before the chaos of the season sets in.
Optimal health consists of many things:
- Physical Health: Make sure you’re not neglecting your physical needs. Sleep well, eat nourishing food, and get regular exercise. Having a pleasant physical environment (e.g., laundry and dishes are done, and the home is tidy) can also reduce anxiety, and emotional exhaustion that could lead to a default way of coping.
- Emotional Health: Pay attention to your emotional well-being. Are you maintaining open communication with loved ones? Are you being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling? Isolation and emotional exhaustion are major contributors to substance use, so stay connected to people who support your sobriety.
- Social Health: Stay engaged with your social and spiritual commitments. Whether it’s attending church, being part of a recovery group, or simply maintaining regular check-ins with friends, building a community of support is key.
Step 3: Prepare for Common Holiday Scenarios
The holidays often come with social gatherings. How will you handle questions about why you’re not drinking? How do you respond to people offering alcohol, or dealing with someone who might be drinking around you?
Here are some strategies for common scenarios:
- Have a Prepared Response: It can help to have a few go-to responses when someone offers you a drink or asks why you’re not drinking. You could say you’re the designated driver, you have an early workout planned the next morning, or you’re taking a medication that doesn’t mix with alcohol. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but having a plan helps you handle the situation with confidence.
- Bring a Plus-One: If you’re worried about feeling isolated or vulnerable at a social event, consider bringing a friend or loved one who understands your sobriety and can provide support.
Step 4: Practice the “Harmonize, Detach, Engage” Framework
Interpersonal relationships can be a major source of stress during the holidays. Here’s a simple framework to help you decide how to engage with people:
- Harmonize: If you’re in a situation where someone says something you disagree with—maybe values or principles are misaligned—you don’t have to engage in a full-blown argument. Will a confrontation increase your stress and make it harder to maintain your sobriety? If so, you can choose to harmonize in the moment.
- Detach: You don’t have to attend an event if it’s a toxic environment. Or if you’re anticipating a high-risk situation, only go for 30 minutes and then leave early.
- Engage: Some relationships are worth the investment. If the relationship is healthy and supportive, don’t shy away from it. These are the moments where you can engage deeply, validate each other, and reinforce your sobriety through positive interactions.
Step 5: Build a Support Team
The idea of managing sobriety on your own, especially during the holidays, can be overwhelming. That’s why it’s crucial to have a solid support system in place. This could include friends, family members, or professionals who you can call when things get tough.
One practical tool is the “fire drill” strategy. Think back to when you were in school or work, and you practiced a fire drill. You knew exactly what to do and where to go when the alarm went off. You can do something similar by actively nurturing relationships with a few people in your life who can provide support when needed. Have weekly check-ins, maybe over the phone or over coffee. When a craving or urge hits during the holidays, you won’t have to rely on yourself alone. Remember, self-reliance can be a trap, so think of 3-5 people you can begin to reach out to.
Step 6: Have a Strategy to Cope
Even with planning, prevention, and a support network, there may still be moments of stress or temptation. It’s important to have a strategy for managing those situations. Grounding exercises can be a quick and effective way to bring yourself back to the present moment and calm your nervous system.
One grounding exercise I recommend is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which can be done in any setting, even in a room full of people. Here’s how it works:
- Take 3 to 5 deep, slow breaths. Focus on filling your belly with air, allowing your breath to deeply expand.
- Engage your senses and observe:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can taste
- 1 thing you can smell
- Take 3 to 5 more deep breaths.
This exercise helps you focus on the present moment and can calm your mind, especially when your thoughts feel scattered or overwhelmed.
Step 7: Know When to Ask for Help
Finally, it’s crucial to know what to do when you feel things are beginning to get out of control. If you’re finding yourself preoccupied with thoughts about alcohol or engaging in compulsive behaviors, it’s time to reach out. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, heavy drinking for women is defined as four or more drinks in a day (not exceeding eight per week), and for men, five or more drinks in a day (not exceeding 15 per week).
If you’re falling into these patterns, I encourage you to contact a professional who specializes in addiction. Reaching out is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to help you regain control and continue on your journey of sobriety.
Maintaining sobriety during the holiday season is possible by staying aware of potential triggers, having a solid plan in place, and relying on a strong support network. Take care of your physical and emotional health and reach out for support when you need it.
Remember, the holidays are a time for joy and connection, and with the right strategies, you can enjoy them without compromising your sobriety. I wish you a peaceful holiday season.
We have more resources to support your mental health and well-being through the holidays. And we'd love for you and your loved ones to join us for Christmas services. Look here for service times and locations for Christmas at Chase Oaks.