Lift Your Spirit While Lifting Someone’s Skills

Posted by Jack Warren, Executive Pastor, on Mar 01, 2019

Lift Your Spirit While Lifting Someone’s Skills

There is a simple way to increase your happiness and fulfillment and improve a person’s skills at the same time. I want to share one simple technique that will encourage you and help improve another person’s performance. This will work at work, on a sports team, and with your own kids. It has been proven scientifically by researchers who focus on brain development.

Here it is: Catch someone doing something right and name it. We do this with babies as they learn to make a sound, say a word, or throw a ball. We practically throw a party when our own child learns to do a basic skill. However, as our kids get older and as we try to help others learn new skills, we shift our strategy and turn into professional critiques. We think that if we can identify what others do wrong, they will change. When we critique someone or receive negative feedback, we put up an invisible shield and hinder the learning process. However, when we are praised for an action, we relax and try to duplicate that action. We feel we have achieved and succeeded, and we eagerly want to experience that pleasure again.

If you lead or manage people, try these simple techniques.

  1. Cause and Effect: Instead of saying, “Here are a couple of things I would change,” Say “When you did this specific thing, it was extremely effective.” Try naming what was right and connect it to positive results. This will both cause a people to feel they succeeded and help them see the results of their action.
  2. Compliments instead of Correction: Start measuring your feedback in terms of positive reinforcements instead of corrective comments.
  3. Strengths over Weaknesses: When doing performance evaluations, focus on a person’s strength and help them grow those rather than naming weaknesses and asking them to focus on those.
  4. Public over Private: Start publicly recognizing good behaviors and name the impact of the good behaviors.
  5. Set a numeric goal everyday: Set a goal to catch a certain number of people doing something right every day. You will quickly become the manager of the year. Do this with your kids, and they will first be in shock and then they will start increasing the good actions.
  6. Flip it: Learn to say the opposite of the negative comment. Instead of saying a person dropped the ball for not immediately following-up with something, catch them when they follow-up immediately, thank them, and tell them the impact that it has made. Encourage them to repeat that practice.
Catching people doing something right can become a habit, and when it does, you will be happier and more fulfilled. People will seek you out for your feedback and coaching. It will change the tone and the culture of your team. Finally, thank you for reading my blog. I hope every entry helps you lead yourself and others more effectively.

Share This:

Recent Stories

Who or What Is the Holy Spirit, And Why Does It Matter?

May 26, 2025

Who or what is the Holy Spirit? Learn more about this important yet mysterious (and often-misunderstood) part of Christianity, here.


How To Handle Stress When Life Feels Out of Control

May 23, 2025

Overwhelmed by the everyday chaos? Stress happens, but it doesn't have to take over. We've got some practical tips to help you reset and find some calm.


Five Meaningful Ways to Celebrate Memorial Day in DFW

May 19, 2025

Memorial Day isn't just the unofficial start of summer. Learn more about the history behind the holiday and discover five easy and meaningful ways to celebrate Memorial Day this year.


From a Graduate's Dad: Advice to Parents of New Graduates

May 16, 2025

Graduation marks the end of one stage and the start of another. Chase Oaks Woodbridge Campus Pastor (and grad dad) Todd Baughman offers his "Top 10" advice for parents of new graduates.


When Mother's/Father's Day Is Hard

May 08, 2025

For many of us, Mother's and Father's Day can be a difficult, painful time. They are also an opportunity to care for ourselves well as we lean into God's kindness and compassion.


Four Ways To Treat Mom on Mother’s Day

May 06, 2025

Mother’s Day is right around the corner! We've got four ways you can make the mom or mom-figure in your life feel special and rejuvenated.


What Is "Good" About Good Friday?

Apr 18, 2025

Good Friday is observed the Friday before Easter to commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. But why do we call a day of suffering "good"?


3 Ways We Are Like Judas

Apr 16, 2025

Judas: real person, Jesus follower, betrayer. We are like him in three significant (and uncomfortable) ways, and his story has some key lessons for all of us.


10 Places to Take Spring Bluebonnet Photos in North Texas

Apr 14, 2025

Looking for the best spots to snap that perfect spring photo? We’ve found the top 10 places to find bluebonnets around Plano, Frisco, Allen, and beyond.


Seven Free Family Easter Events in DFW for 2025

Mar 25, 2025

It's the Easter season, and we've found seven free Easter events in DFW for 2025 for the entire family to enjoy!